Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
