Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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