she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
