You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
