I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
