The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
