So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
