There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
