The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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