I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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