Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
