So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
