I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
