I think I died a long time ago.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
