He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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