thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
