Your face is a jimmy john
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
