ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
