Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
