i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
