yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
