drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
