She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
