The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Found the puke drawer
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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