don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
