Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
