Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
