16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
