she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
