He had one of those small greek statue penises
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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