i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
