Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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