Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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