remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
