somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
