Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
