Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
