I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
