Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
