My brain says no but my pants say off.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
A+ Viking dick
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
