i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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