every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
