I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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