What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
