Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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