I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
