But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
