Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
