The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
