Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
